ABIA STATE: Vacancies for Touts...By Sixtus Ezennaya

God’s Own State is the sobriquet of Abia State. By virtue of this motto, it is not unexpected that Abia State will be a replica of heaven where angels work. But is this the true position of things or just a fallacy? The truth is that Abia State is one state in Nigeria where touting market is never saturated. Touts have the ever ready vacancies for employment and occupation here, hence the rampage of kidnappers. Therefore, the Agberos of Lagos, Dan Chowa Chowas of Kano, Akpuobis, Isiekweonwus in Igboland, town council walking corpses, ex-criminals etc are welcome. Qualification is for one to be a macho-man, dare-devil in outlook with heartless disposition. However, one with the flair for fighting, hooting, intimidation, “point and kill” is an advantage. But then, won’t it be better for Abia State to establish the first “TOUTING ACADEMY” in Nigeria?

One needs to be a living witness to the activities of these barbarians. My visit to Enyimba City for an Award on Sunday 20th December 2009 from the Catholic Youths Organization of Nigeria (CYON) at Christ the King Cathedral Aba was revealing. For the few days I was in Aba before leaving for home for Christmas, I saw hell. In fact, Abia has returned to the jungle era of the hoodlums; The Jangos, Aragas, (Ajagba Mafia) Capol, Stones, Ezeges, Apoos, GOCs, Joking Jaquas, Ajagirigwes, Ogbanjes, Egbelus, Ngworos and German Brass. Soldiers and Policemen are licensed to shoot but touts are paid to kill. If you have not been to the pit latrine, you will never know that cockroaches feed on excreta.

The services of these inhuman apes are hired by all government agencies in Abia State. For example, the ASEPA makes use of them for revenue drive or debt recovery. Even when the Court workers were on strike, these sons of Nebuchadnezzar were functioning alongside the law enforcement agents. The Arrangee, Kangaroo or Jankara Courts are used by these touts to extort money from those arrested as defaulters. The Obstruction / Illegal Parking Unit of the Local Government seems to constitute the home of touts. As one is driving perhaps in an unauthorized place, the touts would forcefully pursue the moving vehicle, open the driver’s door and march on the brake while struggling with the steering with the driver. Whenever there is an accident consequent of such action, these touts usually run away to avert mob action. If the owner of the vehicle goes to make a report to Police, further enquiries at the Local Government usually show that such people are not known to the office neither are they employees. The question then is, who are they accountable to? Again, is the Local Government indirectly empowering the public to confront these revenue collectors? The Business Premises Unit, Illegal Structures, Infrastructural Levy Unit, Building Construction Unit (alias Stop Work Order by LG), Market Stall Unit that collect the compulsory N3000 tax etc make use of these touts. Why must Local and State Government Areas and Commissioners in Abia State make touts relevant and indispensable? Who would believe that in Cameroon, there is no single tout in all the motor parks in Douala, Yaoundé, Kumba, Bafoussan etc? But here in Nigeria, touts pack themselves in vehicles in motor parks disguising as passengers. One by one, they disembark from the vehicle as genuine passengers fill the vehicles. Today, “One Chance” vehicles usually used by touts to rob passengers in Lagos, are now seen in Abia State. Joblessness has even extended the job of touting to girls. Touts are indeed sine-qua-non because of their presence but their absence will show their irrelevance.

Could it be true that Aba, the commercial cum industrial nerve centre of Abia State, has now more “women” than men? Gone were the days when Aba was Aba, when yes was yes for Aba guys. That was the time when Aba people would resist injustice and intimidation. The menace of kidnappers has broken the backbone of Aba leaving the flesh. Yes, the men have deserted the town leaving the boys. In fact, the “castration” of Aba has adversely affected the economy of the town and State. Jeeps are sparingly seen. Buildings and plots of land for sale find no easy buyers. Abia sons and daughters in Europe, America etc stop at Lagos or Abuja and ask their relatives to come to those places for heart to heart discussions or to see them. For those who would risk coming to Abia at all, they never allow evening to set before running out of the town. For how long will this siege last?

Would anyone believe that digital electric meters given free of charge in the North are yet to be installed in Abia? Electricity bills are paid in advance and estimation is the method of billing but Pay As You Consumed is the tax system. Telephone is also pay as you use. Food in our restaurants, is pay as you eat. People are advised to cut their coat according to their cloth. Why must Abia State be the metaphorical “NWA MKPI” (he-goat) that negotiated for the measurement of the size of its scrotum by proxy hence its oversize? Worse still, what has the bat done that it must hang on a tree branch with head upside-down instead of perching or squatting like other animals? Who takes the blame?

It should bleed the heart of every reasonable Igbo man that epileptic electricity bill is on estimation and upfront payment in Igboland yet no Igboman complains. PHCN realizes more than 50% of its monthly revenue from Igboland but why Igboland should work like an elephant and eat like an ant is puzzling. Abia buildings need digital meters to halt the illegal connection problem by private touts besides the problem of disconnection of bill defaulting buildings by PHCN hired touts. Most importantly, digital meters would ensure proper accountability to the PHCN and the consumers.

Oh Aba, how are the mighty fallen. The industrial heart beat of Abia State is gone. The Enyimba City of the Aba Giant Killers, of the Enyimba Football Club, the African champions, of the Nigerian Breweries, of the International Equitable, of the Lever Brothers, of the Abatex, of the Ariaria International Market, of the Dick Tigers, of the Mbakwes, of the Margret Ekpo and her 1929 Aba Women Riot against imposition of tax on women by the Colonial masters, has vamoosed into oblivion.

Abia State Government should cease from patronizing touts and even stop their operation in Abia State to stop further underdevelopment of the State. Could it be true that their importance manifest during elections. Abia State is becoming a SECUNDUS DOMUS to kidnappers because of the presence of government touts. The sore on the skin of the dog is why flies follow it.

Finally, when I was returning from a trip to Europe sometime in the past, robbers attacked one Europe based passenger-friend of mine in his hotel room in Lagos and dispossessed him of his hard earned Euro. As I was commiserating with him he exclaimed , “It is now I know I have no Country.” The deplorable and moribund state of roads in Abia State particularly Aba truly show that Mbakwe is dead. In other words, “it is now that Aba people know that Chief Samuel Onunaka Mbakwe PhD is dead.

Mr. Ezennaya writes for the World Igbo Times Magazine, London.